You probably don't want to try to sneak a bite of whatever Daniel Brian Blackwell is eating.

Blackwell, 55, was arrested in Baltimore for firing a gun at his wife because she took a bite of his grilled-cheese sandwich. No, we're not making this up.

Daniel Brian Blackwell mugshot
Baltimore C.P.D.
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His wife grabbed their children and, sensibly, ran out the front door. Police later arrived, but Blackwell refused to come out of his house -- for three hours. (There are rumors that a whole, unsoiled sandwich may have been used as a bargaining tactic.)

"Right now we don't know if there are any mental issues or there was alcohol or drugs involved," an officer told reporters. We're gonna go out on a limb and predict that mental issues, alcohol or drugs were 100 PERCENT ABSOLUTELY DEFINITELY involved here.

This seems to be an escalation in grilled-cheese-related mania in America, following that story this past summer of a Georgia man who went psycho on his wife for putting three slices of cheese on his sandwich instead of just two. That just just yelled and screamed and threw a tantrum, though.

Perhaps a nationwide moratorium on grilled cheese isn't such a bad idea, at least until -- like our next president likes to say -- we know what the heck is going on.

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