‘Cats’ Audio Description Track Makes The Movie Even Funnier
Cats might have sunk to the bottom of the box office charts like a hairball into a garbage pail, but there’s still hope for Blu-ray sales, right? Especially when that Blu-ray edition includes a “descriptive video service,” in which an automated female voice relays everything that’s happening on the screen in real time. Audio description is a great feature for DVDs and Blu-rays to have. It’s instrumental in creating a more immersive movie experience for the visually-impaired. But for Cats, this feature doubles as the funniest way to re-watch this monstrosity with your friends:
“Under a dining table, the cats watch tiny, womanly cockroaches in high heels dance in lines on a wooden beam,” the voice monotonously recites. “More roaches walk up the leg of the table." Closing your eyes and listening to those words, the mental scene that’s conjured up is truly horrifying. But then again, so is the actual scene being shown on the screen. After only 13 seconds of this nonsense, one can only imagine the torturous descriptions of “The Rum Tum Tugger” and Taylor Swift’s dramatic ceiling descent during “Macavity.”
The Cats Blu-ray was released last week, adding another round of kindling for the hate-fire that has grown around the film. Tom Hooper’s bonus commentary offers dazzling insight into the creative process behind the movie, including the decision to have human children play anthropomorphic mice. According to Hooper, it was Rebel Wilson who contributed the idea. Welp, cat’s out of the bag now.
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