ScreenCrush editor-in-chief Matt Singer loves movies and has an unholy fascination with food inspired by movies. These are his stories.

Today’s Movie Food: Wonder Woman Berry Bold™ from Cold Stone Creamery.

Movie Food’s Official Description: “Dark Chocolate Triple Berry Ice Cream with Chocolate Shavings, Raspberries & Gold Glitter.”

What Matt Ate:

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The Verdict: Well, the cup is as advertised, anyway. The ice cream looked a little different than it did in the picture.

The gimmick at Cold Stone Creamery, an ice cream chain I confess I had never eaten at before I decided to sample Wonder Woman Berry Bold (™), is that your ice cream gets mixed with various toppings on a frozen slab. I’m not sure if my particular store’s slab was too warm, but my ice cream came out looking significantly meltier than in Cold Stone’s official photo. It certainly tasted fine; it’s hard to screw up a giant pile of chocolate ice cream with frozen raspberries and pieces of chocolate. Visually, though, it was about as appealing as a Joel Schumacher Batman movie. This would have worked as the promotional ice cream for the first Trainspotting, but it doesn’t quite jive with the Goddess of Truth’s clean-cut image.

There was also another significant problem with my order: The Cold Stone I visited didn’t have any gold glitter topping. While I was somewhat relieved that I didn’t have to put my already overworked colon through the torture of trying to digest metal flakes, the glitter was basically the only thing about this dessert that actually connected it to Wonder Woman, who uses a golden Lasso of Truth as a weapon. Put this thing in any other cup and it’s just a gloppy mound of generic chocolate ice cream.

Speaking of which: You should be aware that the Wonder Woman cup is only available for large orders, and a large order of chocolate ice cream is 780 calories before toppings. If you’re planning on taking down one of these things, better make sure your Wonder Woman costume has built-in abs first.

Does This Food Properly Reflect the Movie? Not by any measure I can think of. It’s almost a shame that Wonder Woman (the movie, not the ice cream) is good. If it had stunk, I could have said that this liquidy brown mess with red bits in it was basically the perfect summation of the experience. Alas.

I suppose it’s a massive bomb of sugar, and that’s a vaguely apt metaphor for any summer blockbuster, but Wonder Woman is a bit more thoughtful and melancholic than your standard superhero fare. Maybe the raspberries represent the tart sadness of certain scenes between Steve Trevor and Diana? No, I agree; I’m overreaching here. It’s probably all the saturated fat clogging my brain. And now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go on a one-week juice cleanse so I can prepare to drink all three of Sonic’s Transformers smoothies.