An armed Ukrainian hit squad has escaped from a government installation and is now somewhere near the coast of Crimea. Oh, and they are dolphins!

The armed dolphins allegedly escaped from their Ukrainian Navy staging area and are now roaming the Black Sea off the coast of Crimea, reports a Russian News agency. They have a total of six train dolphins housed in pins in that area. Three supposedly escaped when they got a whiff of a female on the other side of the facility, and took off for a hook up.

"Scientists generally refer to dolphins as “The A$$#@^%$ of the Sea” because they’re known for torturing to death their cousins —  porpoises — just for fun, and when they aren’t masturbating in public they’re raping humans and other dolphins. And now there’s three more out there, and they have guns." -

The Ukrainian Defense Ministry is saying this is all a hoax and flat out denies that any killer dolphins escaped.

Just to be on the safe side, don't flip off Flipper!