Last week, I went to Vegas with my family. This was probably my 10th trip to Vegas in the past five years. Here are some thoughts coming away from the experience:

 

  • The ugly casino carpets are not there because they look good. They are there to hide the spilled drinks, dropped ashes, and lost casino chips.

  • The people coming in for EDC (that's Electric Daisy Carnival for the uninformed) may have accomplished great things in life. But flying in to attend an outdoor music festival in 112 degree heat nullifies all college degrees, occupations, and accomplishments.

  • There's no such thing as a lucky dealer. There's no such thing as a lucky deck. There's no such thing as a lucky chip, lucky drink, or lucky charm. There's statistics, and they didn't build the Strip because a bunch of people beat the odds.

  • Within the first few hours of being in Vegas, and I saw two instances of drunk people vomiting into trashcans before 2:00 PM. Vegas may be fun, but it doesn't deny basic biology.

  • I actually heard somebody use the term "YOLO," and they weren't trying to be funny. That's disturbing.

  • Why would anybody bring their kids to Vegas? Disneyland is five hours away. If you have the money to go to Vegas, you have the money to go to Disneyland.

  • Within a span of 15 minutes, I saw two married couples arguing about how one of them had acted in an "offensive" manner. General rule: if you marry somebody who has a history of bad decisions, don't go to Vegas.

  • "But we're in Vegas!" doesn't excuse fully-grown adults running around like sugar-fueled kids on their first trip to Toys R Us. You can't do anything you want. That's why the Las Vegas Metro PD is there.

  • Las Vegas is a city built on suckers, schiesters, charlatans, and drunks.

  • Man, do I miss living in Las Vegas.